Posted in Musings

C-Y-N-I-C-A-L

He/She/They/You/I

Become “Cynical” at some point of time, out of the blue sometimes.
Losing faith in the people around, the gradual erosion of trust and hope and the constant wearing of intimacy and love is the result, the aftermath of your new season of Being Cynical.
You are at fault, are you? Or is it just life’s messed up games of playing the fool with you, little knowing that it was sucking out every ounce of trust and hope you had in the Human Race.
Are you really at fault or would you cast the blame on Life?
He/She/They/You/I
We have become “Cynical” at one point.
Are you right now or was it just a phase that passed out too quickly you hardly had time to noitce?
Or is it that you call yourself a lovable, dependable, amiable, fanciful, merciful Human whose past is dotted with mosses and weeds in places, Oh God I cannot say where and where not?
You have not been “Cynical”, have you? Or is it that you were when you never bothered to look up your symptoms in the mental health book and probably then look up the word itself in the dictionary by your bedside?
He/She/They/You/I
We have become “Cynicals”. Admit it.
Days when you lost faith in people, the kind heart within you dying and the love going out from your systems. Remember that day when the soft corner within you suddenly turned hard, refusing to go back to being tender. We have become Cynicals at some point and some of us still are. Some of us still living in the trauma that hit us a while ago and settled down since then to believe that love isn’t love and trusting , believing and having faith is all but Vanity.
You have become “Cynical” as much as I have.

Posted in Musings

The Fall

You might fall a million times, fail drastically every single time you try and never have the slightest hope of success. You might hurt people around,prove yourself to be an absolute loser, troublemaker and good for nothing and fitting nowhere in any picture frames. You might have caused trouble and messed up good times.Yes, messed it big time and ruined ideas and plans.You might even have hurt that best friend of yours, that one person who always stood up for you and probably broken a million hearts and scarred people’s lives with insult and pain.You might be that one person who frequently causes “Bad Luck” everywhere you go, even to that brief encounter with your old friend.But you know what…..I think it’s okay to be that “Troublemaker” you were labeled, that one soul who has failed at everything,everywhere and every time. Its ok to be the way you are and accept the frequent bad luck that keeps happening to you because every time you fail, every once you fall, you are bound to get up and every time you get up and face the world you become stronger without you realizing it.
Every single fall and failure has made you a better person and taught you a better lesson and shaped you a little more curvy, round and beautiful.
Fall. Fail. Be humiliated.You are learning a new lesson each day.
Posted in Musings

A rather cold night

The night was overwhelmingly filling, my mind flowed over with thoughts, they trickled down all over and down, I knew not where they found their way onto. On my window the rain lashed it’s hands, filling my heart with a strange joy I couldn’t make sense. My mind wandered taking along with its lust my eyes. Up to the ceiling and out my window, they wouldn’t stop nor could I shut them any longer. The stars weren’t out in the sky today, the moon fogged beneath the thick rain clouds it felt as if my heart was hid behind the bulrushes of my excruciating pain and dilemma. There was rain and only rain, the wind blowing harder and wilder it was powerful to whip away all the remnants of confusion, bafflement, pain and worry. The music of the night wasn’t there today yet the rain had a music that was bizarrely attractive, soothing to the ears and calming to the heart. Rain was here, it came along with goodies both big and small for everyone living in town wiping away all dust, tits and bits of dirt. Rain was here and it brought along joy and smiles…..
Posted in Musings

Did I not tell you?

Did I not tell you that every time I see you I feel a hundred towers collapsing deep inside me? Did you not know that it’s hard not to feel the breeze when the wind is swirling all around me? Did you not know that I can melt like ice cubes under the sun everytime I hear you? Did you even know that it’s hard to walk on and down on a path filled with puddles from the pouring rain, thorns and thistles all along the edges and graveness hanging from towering trees and low lying flowers. Didn’t I tell you that the birds here sing a song of melancholy and the sun beats garishly on my bare skin and the night whispers something of an uncanny language that hurts me deep inside. Did you not know?
Posted in Musings

Do you understand?

I somehow lose my eyes in the endless stretch of the skies and the soaring birds, my senses losing itself in the music of the wind. They somehow awaken the poet in me, I can sit here all year long, lost in a music that doesn’t make sense to you, in a touch that ravishes my soul, awakening and exciting every vein in my body that you hardly even know and totally strange to. You don’t get it when I speak of the music of the crickets, the whisper of the winds filling my ears,erupting a volcano of words and gush of thoughts. I leave you wondering how and why but trust me they tantalise me, jarring me into an unknown pleasure I have no idea. Does it even make a difference to you to wake up to heavy downpour, dim light and thunder.Do you even understand my satisfaction of pulling back the curtains to see the pouring rain waiting out my window, enticing me in every sense of the word to draw me into its touch,it’s sparking touch. It’s bizzare but it’s inevitable. The rain, the wind, the skies have an effect deep in me that you hardly understand, one that is inextricably true. You don’t get it when I speak of being lost in a world that demands nothing but simply the relishing of the music, the effect and the touch. I wait for the rain, the tinge of pink, blue and yellow in the face of the sky and the soaring birds in the skies and you will never know why. You would wonder why?