Posted in Poetry

To mother who believed,

To mother who believed,
Was there even a morning when you kissed me and I felt abated?
Was there a single night when you cradled me and I felt insecure?
Was there even one time when calling you and I felt not confident?
Could there be one person in the ends of this earth, in the depth of the oceans,
Or from up above the skies and deep beneath the earth and from the corners of the world
Who loved me like the ever flowing waters and fresh air from the countryside?
Could there have been one more person who loved me like you did,
Who choose to bear me for nine months in the womb,
Two years in her fragile arms
And forever in the walls of her heart?
If I would rummage and dig hard I wouldn’t find a quarter of another person
I was out in the fields one morning amidst the endless lilies and the lush green grass,
I ran the length of the fields and the height of the hills,
I perceived I was flying higher than the butterflies
And faster than all the dragonflies there!
And you believed me,
You said I was swift, you had never seen anyone so in your entire life,
That I was behemoth, you wondered how,
And that I was beautiful, you hadn’t seen such beauty and grace!
I believed you too
For my Mamma told me so and my Mamma was the best in the world!
I was out in the fields again,
I ran the length of the fields, the heights of the hills and to every edge of the rivers
Today was,
Tragedy. Defeat. Pain.
I fell into the puddles, filled with filth all over,
Hands and feet bleeding, the oozing blood all over
The lilies pushed me away,
The butterflies fluttered over me,
I was lost, hurt, defeated
Indeed was I strong enough or was I beautiful?
I was none
But Mamma looked deep into my eyes and said I looked beautiful like never before
You said you hadn’t known filth to look so beautiful
You said you hadn’t seen an angel who looked so graceful!
So you held my hand and let me dance and run the edges again ,
All along my hands in yours
I didn’t fall this time nor did the butterflies, the lilies and the puddles had power over me
My Mamma was with me
I was at the fields again,
The lilies were there with more lilies and new chrysanthemums,
The butterflies were there with more dragonflies and bees
The grass was intact with more brambles, bushes, bulrushes and thistles
This time I walked against the might of the bulrushes and the thorns,
I flicked out of the way bees, flies and crickets,
I walked round puddles, I hadn’t got filth on this time!
I walked alone and I got to the edge of the river,
All by myself,
I thought of Mamma bear all the while
I wasn’t on the fields today, I was past,
Far from her
And I saw her far from the fields and the bushes
Waving hard at me
You said, I was strong, you never knew any soul who walked across alone
You said I was beautiful, you never saw beauty glowing brighter than the garish sun, even at a distance!
And I said from the distance,
I had never known a person who picked me up when I fell to the ground,
I never knew anyone who saw beauty beneath scars and rashes,
And I never knew anyone who loved me like the flowing waters, the fragrant lilies and the endless stretch of skies!



Writing relieves down my bad moods and awakens and fires up my spirits.

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